Letdown

I don’t understand

Why does this always seem to happen to me?

How can so many of the wrong kind be in one area?

I seem to be bombarded by my own feelings

I tried to stop,

But my heart kept beating faster and faster,

It was opening,

Farther wider,

I couldn’t handle it

I freed myself to someone who was going to to fool me easily

Many were shocked,

And so was I,

But it only lasted for a while,

Until another of his stupid acts made my feelings point in another direction 

And in that direction came another

The spark was nostalgic,

I felt like how I was almost three years ago:

Seamless,

Free,

Free of worries,

And the secondary school trauma

Yet still,

It only temporarily lasted

Everything seems to be ending in a letdown

It hurts,

That all the good boys seem to shy themselves away,

While girls are blinded by the beauty of boys who will never do them good,

Who will always have that mighty thirst for their bodies,

And treat them like the waste they let out from the tips of their tongues 

I thought things were going to change,

There were not going to be any distractions for me,

But now,

The only things I’m not thinking about are the things I’m supposed to focusing on 

And it sucks.