Rethinking

I went back and thought about how I felt about you in those previous days,

I had so much faith in you that it was scary,

No matter how many times things had happened,

No matter what had happened,

I still managed to forgive you,

Claiming that it was a one time thing,

Just because of the fact that my feelings for you were always recollected

How come it was only now,

That I realised for the past two years,

Most of my feelings were wasted on you,

I could’ve kept my heart to myself,

In my own safety,

Instead of letting it run free into the wilderness,

For it to be captured by you:

The wild, ravenous beast,

Which continuously ripped it to pieces with mighty heartbreaking claws,

But always seemed to put it back together again

How come it’s only now that I realised that I don’t need you

All the times when I said I did,

I was blatantly lying to myself,

I was telling myself false words,

Which I believed in for as long as I could remember

How could you have done this to me?

But most importantly,

How could I have done this to myself?

I know that once we return,

I’ll have to pretty much force myself to release you,

And the feelings,

If that the deed is not done in the end

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