Pure, Painful, Heartbreak

It’s unbelievable that last night I cried myself to sleep

The pain kept me up until 1 AM,

Cause I couldn’t get you out of my mind

I thought of what I would say,

About the fact that I had to be mature in this situation

All this time I was telling people I was in love with you,

I was lying to them and myself

But it seems like our love is outdated and overdue

It’s as if I’ve had you on a leash for such a long time

And even when I claimed to have already let you go,

It wasn’t as if I actually had

Sometimes I hate how I’m too nice,

I let everyone trample over me,

And I keep telling myself to deal with it,

That it isn’t my time yet,

I have every reason,

Yet no reason to be angry

Why should I be the barrier that stands broken- hearted between your happiness?

Why do people care about me so much?

And everyone makes it so obvious that there’s something between them

It’s like everyone wants me to be upset,

Everyone wants me to do something,

To break them apart,

But I’m not that kind of person

Why do people want me to break up something so perfect?

If anything,

I should be angry with myself,

Angry that I had so much faith in something which would rip me apart,

Not just once,

But twice

Angry that I went back to something which ended badly before and would be bound to happen again

Angry that I didn’t choose properly

How could I have done this to myself?

This is all my fault

If anything I deserve this,

I should’ve seen it coming

People warned me,

People told me to be aware

Why did this have to happen to me?

18 thoughts on “Pure, Painful, Heartbreak

  1. misfitqueen19 says:

    This is a very relatable poem for me. Recently, I got out of a toxic relationship myself and everything you said was pretty much my thoughts during the first two weeks of our breakup. Occasionally, the feeling of being angry at myself and the “why did this happen to me?” question will pop up but I am usually able to calm myself down.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. lbfreeverse says:

    This is so amazing. I relate to this wholeheartedly. I got back into a relationship that my friends knew was bad for me and ended up in one of the worst times I’ve experienced in my life. In love with how you wrote this! Thank you for writing this piece. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • ES Ordinary says:

      Thanks so much! I’m really glad you enjoyed this piece: it all came from the heart ❤️. I’m really sorry about your toxic relationship and I know and pray that you are going to receive better in the future. Right now, focus on yourself and your happiness cause as long as you have faith in yourself you can get to high places you never thought existed! 😊❤️

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s