Ughhhhhh, this has been such a long post, you don’t understand how long it took me to write Part II because I got back to school last week and the homework has been cutting in most of my time. But now that part III is here and I only have 2 years of primary school to cover, I know it won’t be as frustrating. I haven’t been asked to do any of this that’s why I’ve been writing other blogs and putting the primary school one on hold because honestly, covering all the years in primary school- that’s 8 years- is hard to do in one especially because I have to go through all the trouble to remember cringey stories and write it down.
Anyway, sorry for that rant of frustration before, in this post, I’m gonna tell you some more cringey primary school stories for you guys to enjoy.
Year 5 was the year. See, in primary school, when it came to the KS2 area of the school, lower KS2- Years 3 and 4- would stay in the lower area, and upper KS2- Years 5 and 6- would go up the stairs. Even though it wouldn’t mean so much just going up some stairs and it would actually piss some people off as it takes effort to go up stairs, it was a pretty big deal in my primary school for us pupils. You actually had a reason to go up those stairs and it was even better when you could use the lift. The lift was liveeeeee. Just press a button for a long time and it will take you either up or down. It was satisfying tbh. 😌
I had an amazeballs teacher for Year 5 as well. I remember meeting her at the end of year 4 and I could already tell she was gonna be an awesome teacher. She was young as well. When I entered Year 5 she was only 24 and newly married. She was also really smart and nice; she went to Grammar school which meant she was a smartass. So for this we are going to call her Mrs Smartass Youngard- yes, there is another youngard.
Year 5 was a great year overall: I had a great teacher, I didn’t like SC that way anymore, I had a lot of friends and:
I WAS STILL A SMARTASS!!!
We thank God for that cause I could’ve gotten engulfed in the stupidity wave. And that would not be good.
However, once I started going further into the school year, things started to go sour. Apparently, Sharpay was hiding her hatred from me. This is how it went:
So my birthday’s in October as most of you guys know and Sharpay’s in November. I celebrated my tenth birthday very recently, it was just the month before this happened and I had a party which Sharpay was of course, invited to. Usually, if you invited your friend to a party in primary school, they had to invite you to there’s: it’s the frickin law. (Jk, it’s not that personal, but it was important).
Well, in long story short:
SHARPAY FRICKIN BROKE THE LAW
The girl didn’t invite me to her birthday party, for goodness’ sake! I remember, she came into my class, giving out her birthday invitations and obviously, I got gassed because I was certain I was gonna get invited to an amazeballs bday party and got to spend a Saturday with my besties celebrating and partying like we were employed to do it.
She gave out some invitations to a number of people, but none of them were me.
I thought. The girl must be off her mind or she just forgot about me, surely that’s the case rightttt?
So it came to playtime, or in secondary school terms, breakfast, and we were playing badminton. I was playing on Sharpay’s team and all of a sudden, just in a few minutes’ time, she was being disrespectful to a girl in the year above us. I was appalled by Sharpay’s behaviour as I’m a nice, obedient child who listens to instructions and wanted Sharpay to respect her elders like a nice, holy child. However, Sharpay happens to hate the things I do all the time- she doesn’t respect me either and I’m older, no surprise there 🙄😒.
Then Sharpay got angry. Let me give you a list of the things I did that pissed off Sharpay:
1.) I can’t stay out of people’s businesses as I “always” join conversations I wasn’t included in.
2.) I was too clingy for her liking.
3.) I always tell her to respect her elders which pisses her off.
So Sharpay lashed out at me and eventually she ended with:
“THAT’S WHY I DIDN’T INVITE YOU TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!”
And obviously, after that I broke down. I mean, which normal person doesn’t break down after a fight with their bestie? It’s pretty humane.
Sharpay and I fought a lot in Year 5 but in Year 6, we pretty much stayed quiet but we both knew we still secretly hated each other.
This time in Year 5, I was included in something for Christmas because that yer we were doing the traditional KS2 class song production as we would normally do. We sang ‘The 12 Days of Christmas’ and it was really fun. But the other class decided to sing ‘When a Child is Born’ cause Mrs Mallow the Piano was their teacher and she wanted it to sound sweet. There was even a time when Mrs Smartass Youngard was all like:
“Listen to how sweet they sound in comparison to our loud singing 🙄😅😏”
In this I helped A LOT.
Since I was such a great artist in primary school, Mrs Smartass Youngard, had me and two other female classmates- we’re gonna call them Marinette and Ashanti- help paint her drawings for each of the twelve gifts given on Christmas by the person’s true love- omg what a sweet guy, where have all the good guys like this gone to hide away please?
Anyway, my ones looked sooo good, as always 😌 and Mrs Smartass Youngard really appreciated me for it.
When it came to holding these pictures up, Mrs Smartass Youngard had me hold up the ‘six geese- a- laying’ one. Btw, that’s one of the ones that I painted sooo…
MANLYKE MEHHH 😌😄
Christmas is always live in pri pri: the Christmas songs, nativities, Christmas dinner, the decorations and arts and crafts and the fact that we always get something sugary of some kind from our bae teachers.
I also did soooo well in primary school when it came to my classes. I remember in English, I left with a 5A+
Now, the last thing that happened in Year 5 was unbelievable. I thought I might be able to handle it a little, but really it affected me A LOT.
FATIMA MOVED AWAY!!!! 😦
See basically what happened was, she was crying one day about the fact that there would be a chance of her moving because according to what her mum told her, they were having trouble paying for their rent and it was unlikely that she was going to stay in the same house.
I decided to be the optimistic one in the situation and I believed that she of course, wasn’t going to moving and in the end they will be able to pay for their rent. I honestly believed that Fatima and I will be friends and until adulthood: nothing was going to tear us apart.
The next week came. We were in a maths lesson and Fatima was absent.
To be honest, I thought Fatima was just going to be absent for one day and she was going to be back at school the next day.
However, there was no next day where Fatima was present. I honestly thought I would cope with the situation of her leaving as I already was. But sometimes, not everything comes as expected.
Year 6 was another year and it is the most stressful year of primary school. You’re the oldest in the school, you have tests like 11+ and SATs to get ready for. You have to apply for secondary schools before the end of October and also, don’t forget the performance at the end of the year as well.
Let me run it all down for you.
So the start of Year 6 started with the tests. The worst part about 11+ is that it is supposed to be at the start of Year 6 in order for secondary applications to be easier for those who passed and those who didn’t. I did two 11+ tests. I repeat.
TWO FRICKIN 11+ TESTS!
But you know I shouldn’t be shouting because it was my choice.
If you are from a different country or a place which doesn’t do 11+ tests even though pretty much all the counties of England hold 11+ tests, then I’m going to explain it to you.
The 11+ exam is a test which is completed by Year 6 students in order to help select students for grammar schools. The test is completed to prove whether this student is intelligent enough to be part of their school. The tests aren’t supposed to be easy, you know. This is why most people have their children preparing for 11+ tests around Year 4 or 5 or the beginning of Year 6 at the latest. Being part of a grammar school can also look good on applications for sixth forms and universities. It basically lets them know that you’re a smartass.
So yeah, I did two. This was so if I didn’t pass one, the other one was still available.
One of these were for a different county but is the closest county near to London, (it was Kent btw that’s all I’m going to tell you for privacy and security purposes) and even though most of the Kent schools are far away, there are still a couple which are in London and very close to being in inner Kent. These were the schools I was looking at.
There was also another test which was for schools in pretty much the closest borough to mine and in my areaaaaa. According to other people whom had taken both the Kent and the local said the local was harder but Kent is further away so it isn’t as efficient when approaching public transport situations.
To be honest, I thought that Kent was more unreasonable when it came to taking the test and getting the results. This was because:
- They didn’t give you as long a period as the local did when it came to applying to do the actual test.
- The test was earlier than the local so they didn’t give you that much time for the proper, active preparation.
- The test was done earlier, and the results were given later than the local by a week.
The local was more reasonable because:
- They gave you more application time.
- They gave you more preparation time.
- They gave you a less time of impatiently waiting for the result.
In the end, I passed neither the Kent nor the local. Kent didn’t even tell me the score I got, they just told me that I would be better for a high school or a comprehensive, which is what they usually say to make it seem more formal to say:
YOU DIDN’T PASS THE FRICKIN TEST WE DON’T WANT YOU IN OUR SCHOOLS BOZOOOOO
Jk, jk, it ain’t that harsh. Honestly, it’s better to just say some positive things like what you’re suitable for, rather than just being harsh and brutal. We were Year 6s, they wouldn’t want us to cry, even though I did after hearing that I passed neither.
When I heard that I didn’t pass the local I was actually smiling.
I don’t why though because as far as I know, nobody smiles when they don’t pass a test. Well, maybe unless it’s a pregnancy test and you don’t wanna end up knowing you had a fetus in your tum tum. But I was happy because I did really well on the test. I was just like 7 or 8 marks from from the pass mark but I was still really happy. As an award, my dad took me to McDonald’s. Yayyyyyyy.
Most of Year 6 was taken up by studying for SATs. I spent pretty much 5 months studying for SATs personally. During this five month period, my dad had actually banned me from TV because there came a Parents’ Consultation Day (it’s like Parents’ Evening but for primary school and used to be on an empty Friday) where they said something like I haven’t been going up levels in Maths or something and my dad got pissed off and was like:
“That’s too much TV! You know, what? I’m gonna ban you from TV!”
So I was banned and my dad didn’t give me any consent of when I was going to be unbanned from watching TV. There came a time when I asked him when and he was like:
“I’m going to allow you to watch TV again when you get a level 6,”
See the thing is, right. In Year 6, SATs level 6 tests were available for students allocated by the teachers, to complete if these teachers think they are ready. Level 6 means extra special tutoring and teaching from teachers. Our very awesomely kind headteacher was actually the one that helped with the level 6 tutoring and it was very effective. We did things like revise some Level 6 devices and also complete old Level 6 SATs tests from like 2012. Not only this, but Level 6 is around the level students in lower secondary school would be expected to be at; and the fact that they are having primary students in Year 6 complete these tests means your child is pure genius.
The fact that my dad wanted me to get a level 6 to redeem myself from being banned from TV is something insane.
So there came a time during English (my best subject) where we were working on PEE. If you aren’t familiar we PEE or you have forgotten it then just to inform you, PEE stands for:
It’s a level 6/ GCSE reading and writing device which is usually what is needed for 3 mark answers in a SATs paper. You basically write your point, show your evidence from the text given for this point and explain the meaning or how this is shown.
You may not believe this, but according to my Year 6 teacher:
THE PEE I DID IN ENGLISH WAS UP TO A GCSE LEVEL!!
Now if you were a very immature person then you would probably be laughing right now. Cause now that I read it in a different way it actually sounds kinda fun ngl.
The pee I did in English was up to a GCSE level.
I didn’t know I could pee so intelligently and formally.