Hey my ES Ordinaries, here I have another blog in the younger Years category. This is going to basically show how much I evolved during my primary years. Also, it is going to be funny yet interesting but pretty much everything funny is interesting, soooo just enjoy this entertaining post.
Let’s start from the very beginning, Nursery.
I was a mischievous child who was obsessed with High School Musical because of course, it was probably the best thing which came to Disney in the mid 2000s. The best thing was, when I was in Nursery, we had a High School Musical CD which we played all the time and proper rinsed out. You don’t understand how much I loved listening to that CD. I once got in trouble for listening to that CD when we were supposed to be sitting together in front of the teacher. I just sat next to the player and listened to the music intently. My teacher told me off after that.
Another weird thing I did in Nursery was use the boys’ toilet even though I was clearly a girl. The pictures on the doors can be very misleading you know! I literally thought the boys’ toilets were actually for people who wore trousers. I mean that’s what it showed on the toilet door. What made it worse, was the fact that a few years into primary school, I only wore trousers to school.
Soooo, you guessed it, whenever I needed to go, I always went to the boys’ toilets like a hoodalum. I know 😖
It happened to be, that I have always been a smartass from day 1. I know it from this story:
So there came a day when one of my friends was feeling sick and eventually threw up. He was sent home shortly afterwards.
I got jealous because he got to miss school, so I came up with a mischievous plan. More mischievous than any four year old child could think of.
Around the next day or possibly a few days after, my grandma was sorting out what I wanted to eat for breakfast. I then ended up eating malted milk biscuits. So I was eating them happily. However, when I was eating them, I chewed them, but didn’t actually swallow them. So basically, I had biscuit mush swishing in my mouth like mouthwash which was being saved for later.Hehehe 😈
While waiting outside the school gates for them to be opened, I was struggling to keep them in my mouth. I was this close to giving in my plan and swallowing the malted milk biscuit mush, I mean seriously, those biscuits are pengggg not gonna lie. Thankfully, I managed to do it. We thank God 😅🙏🏾
As soon as I got into my classroom, I ran straight to the boys’ toilets (for obvious reasons) and spewed the malted milk biscuit mush out of my mouth and onto the toilet floor. Obviously, I got lots of attention and was sent home to my pleasure 😇
The next week came and I was ready to go to school and be like : “GUESS WHO’S BACK?”
Unfortunately, when I got to school, I got sent back home. Why you ask?
It turned out to be that my little “accident” which actually happened on purpose, was still being cleaned. I mean come on people, it’s not like it was real vomit!
But I was pissed. I really wanted to go back to school despite the fact that I had to use my smartass, sensei skills to get out of going there, but honestly, that was a lot of work.
You don’t understand how badass I was in Nursery. Not only did I fake throwing up but I also snuck out of my classroom.
There was a time when we were doing only God knows what, because I seriously can’t remember, and the door to the other class was wide open. When the teacher wasn’t looking I literally crawled into the other classroom without her realising. In that other class, they were having a quiet reading session where the teacher was reading the Gingerbread man. It was lit, not gonna lie. The Gingerbread Man was a badman:running out of the oven and having the entire neighborhood running after him because he was so damn delicious, and he had pace. But he stupidly sold his trust for some fox who was like:
“Yo man, I’ll take you across the water cause I’m nice like that.”
He got eaten in the end. I apologise for anyone who hasn’t read it but honestly, you can’t trust foxes. Nobody even knows what sound they make. How can you trust something when you haven’t properly heard his voice. The Gingerbread man was so freaking gullible. Gosh!!!!!
On the bright side, I still had a great time in Nursery even though the Gingerbread man proper took the piss.
Reception was pretty da bom to be honest.
I had an amazeballs teacher who was Canadian- by the way, I find Canadians awesome- and I met two of my best friends there.
Also, in Reception, there was an entire lot of new people who came into my class. This meant a lot of new friends. Most of these new people were still with me until Year 6. These are the stories of how I met my two primary school besties- we’re going to call them Naomi and Fatima.
So, I became friends with Naomi before Fatima as she wasn’t part of the school yet. We were doing some painting in the corner of the classroom and we were doing some small talk. No. That’s a lie. We were having a full- blown conversation. Then finally, I asked:
“Do you wanna be my friend?”
And then she said:
“Sure, I’ll be your friend,”
It came to another Monday when Fatima came to the school. She came to school on her birthday which meant she had food to give to the class. So basically, she had such a great first impression: on her first day she greets us with sugar. #Friendship Goals
Miss I’m an Amazeballs Canadian introduced us to Fatima and according to her, said a few years after this, she knew that she was going to be really good friends with us as soon as she saw us. Awww, that’s what you call besties at first sight.
Reception was the first time we were ever put in sets. I was put in a set in the other class which was for the smartasses, of course because I was in it, and it was for Phonics. I was always really good at Phonics. But to be honest, it really wasn’t that hard.
Year 1, what a wonderful year! Year 1 wasn’t actually that much of an interesting year but I think that was what made it wonderful.
In Year 1 I had a Jamaican teacher which was, of course, very different than having a Canadian teacher the year before. I remember the previous year when we were told Miss I’m an Amazeballs Canadian was going to be leaving the school; Fatima cried a lot because, she was actually an amazeballs Canadian teacher and I was upset to see her go, but I coped because I’m strong like that💪🏾 😏
There were days when Mrs Jarring Jamaican- I’m gonna call her that- would actually sound pretty scary ngl. If someone was being stammery when giving her an answer, she would be all like:
“What’s wrong, cat got your tongue?”
And I’ll be all like:
The thing is, when she would say something like that, it would sound really weird because when she was angry, her voice would go full Jamaican; and we all know that Jamaican accents can be really hard to understand sometimes. So to be honest, it was kinda hard coping with her brutality. I mean when she wasn’t angry with us, she would have the calmest voice- no joke. It was so soft and smooth it was unbelievable.
One of the other things which happened in Year 1 was Sharpay coming to the school. If you have read my other blogs, then you would know that Sharpay was one of my ex- friends in primary school.
When Sharpay first came to the school, she wore a colourful, pink hoodie and barely spoke any English As a matter of fact, she could speak fluent German and she later on revealed to me that she was half Ghanaian because of her parents being from different countries: Ghana and Germany.
I’m not gonna lie but Sharpay was sooooo tall. Literally one of my classmates thought she was in Year 3!
I then decided to become Sharpay’s friend, and it was the same with Fatima and Naomi.
A Year 1 story includes the time when I ate some of Naomi’s dessert and she snaked on me. This is basically how it went down:
So it was lunchtime on a normal school day. When we were picking desserts, I saw yoghurt was an option. The thing is, when I was in primary school, I was IN LOVE with yoghurt. 😍
Honestly, I seriously believed that yoghurt was the best food ever created; and whomever that wise man was who thought expired milk 🍼 which had been cleaned and had flavour added to it was a total genius. 🤓
So yeah, I chose the yoghurt without any second thoughts.
Naomi however chose this cake which had a chocolate button on it. She was proper gassing about it too. I forgot to tell you too, I originally wanted to have yoghurt over the chocolate cake but they didn’t allow me😪. So I had to have yoghurt on its own.
When Naomi sat down with her beautiful chocolate cake on her lunch tray, my morals started speaking to me. This is what they said:
“Eat her chocolate button! Do it!!!!”
So of course, since I was a gullible yet obedient six year old, I grabbed her chocolate button and ate it. Yes, I ate it. I thought it would be like a joke because I’m just that kind of person. But she was so taken aback. And we all know what kids do when they’re taken aback by what another kid has done to them:
THEY SNAKE 🐍
Naomi snaked me to Wonder, the dude who thought Sharpay was in Year 3’s mum- we’re calling her Mrs Baxter. She was all like:
“ES did you actually do that?”
I nodded because I’m one who always tells the truth. 😌
“Open your mouth, NOWWWWW!”
I opened it and the evidence showed veryyyyyy clearly.
So Mrs Baxter told my teacher that I lied even though I clearly nodded my head when she asked me whether I ate it or not and I had to move my name.
Ughhhhhhhh. Snakes those days.
I hope you enjoyed the first part of my primary behaviour. Make sure you like, comment and follow my blog.
See you next time.
~ ES Ordinary xx